Mama Blanca's Memoirs

 Mama Blanca's Memoirs by Teresa de la Parra was an interesting book, and I'm glad it was the first one we read. It's a novel written as a memoir - published without permission - of the young Blanca Nieves (meaning Snow White) who eventually becomes the titular Mama Blanca. It tells about life as a well-cared for daughter of a wealthy plantation, now living in a very humble house, and shame to her daughters-in-law. Two parts of the novel that especially stuck out to me: the discussion of curly vs straight hair, and the girls' attitude toward Vicente Cochocho.

First off, the curly and straight hair thing. Of the six daughters, Blanca Nieves is the only one that has straight hair. Her mum puts in hours of work to get Blanca's hair to be curly, especially in front of guests, and takes pride in her daughters' curly hair. This was very interesting to me, as someone with curly hair. I grew up in an environment where straight hair was deemed the beauty standard, and all the movies would have a girl straighten her hair and suddenly "become beautiful". It was only until relatively recently that I started to appreciate my natural hair for what it is, rather than try to hide it away. Because of that, it was very surprising to see the opposite be the beauty standard. That said, I wish for Blanca's sake that her natural hair was seen as beautiful in its own right rather than having to be curled to be seen as acceptable. 

Vicente Cochocho is a black worker on the plantation whom the girls adore. Blanca Nieves often comments on the fact that their mother mistreats Vicente, but with every slight against him, the girls love him all the more. Teresa de la Parra (through young Blanca's voice) writes "Love is not love unless it is opposed, nor is a friendship that does not involve sacrifice worth the name." This sentence really stuck out to me, and I spent a while thinking about whether or not I agree with this. I don't think I do. Or at least I don't think I agree with the phrasing. If I give it some benefit of the doubt and assume that she does not refer to familial love, that leaves friendship and romantic love as the other two major types of love (that come to my mind). I think there is some validity in saying that love may be made stronger when some extra stakes are added to it, and that sacrifice can deepen the level of a friendship (sometimes, not always), but I think this statement, taken as it is, assumes a level of struggle to be necessary for a meaningful relationship and I don't think that's the case. Sometimes things can be easy, including love and friendship, and I don't think that diminishes the value of either.

My question to you all: What do you think of the quote about love? Do you agree that opposition/sacrifice is necessary?

Comments

  1. JonJanuary 17, 2023 at 12:50 AM

    "a black worker"

    He's actually "worse" than this, in that he's half black, half indigenous!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kelly Ou-ChinJanuary 17, 2023 at 3:56 PM

    Hey Deeba! Their beauty standard for having curly hair was quite surprizing to me as well! And I also think you should embrace your curls, they happen to be very lovely :). To answer your question, I basically share the same opinion as you. The level of opposition and sacrifice I think is a very strong indicator for love and the depth of a friendship, especially considering the terms of how bonding occurs through experiencing hardships together, so in that sense i do agree that having opposition and sacrifice does deepen love to another level. However I agree that the phrasing of the question makes it seem exclusive to having love only because of hardship. I think just the condition of "expereincing" something together makes love form, and it doesn't have to exclusive to negative events.

    ReplyDelete
  3. kenwardtJanuary 18, 2023 at 10:46 AM

    Hi Deeba! I also remember growing up and having straight hair was considered the norm beauty standard. I always has super short hair so I never knew my hair was curly like my mom's! Now I embrace it, but I remember feeling different compared to my siblings, who had straight hair just like my dad. In response to your question, I do agree with you, and just because love is easy at this point in time, doesn't make it any less valuable than other forms of love. There may be hardships later on, but if it is smooth sailing right now, then that is a good thing!

    ReplyDelete
  4. AshleyJanuary 20, 2023 at 4:21 PM

    Hi Deeba,

    I think you tie together a lot of really aspects of beauty standards into your blog in a really effective way! I also thought similar to you--in that I was also surprised that Mama Blanca's mom always made her conceal her straight hair.

    Regarding the question you posed-- I also think I agree with where you stand on the matter. I can see how struggle or sacrifice can bring people closer together through shared experiences--I've experienced it myself--but I don't think it's necessary for a meaningful relationship to flourish. What I do think is necessary, however, is one's willingness to listen and support another's lived experiences when they choose to share memories that are important to them--with reference to how memories are a central component of this book. I agree that there is definitely validity to what de la Parra wrote, but I also agree it might be a phrasing issue which causes us to raise questions on it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AshleyJanuary 20, 2023 at 4:23 PM

      oh btw, i meant to put my full name but wouldnt let me change it--ashley haines

      Delete

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